Help! I'm Trapped in the Dog's Body!
by Nashida
Summary: When Yugi gets into an accident and leaves Joey to deal with Yami for however long he is there, what types of chaos will ensue?
1. Default Chapter

Sup, y'all! I decided to write a new story, so grin and bear it!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-gi-oh. Otherwise, if I did, I would not be working at McDonald's...Oh, and Yami's mind-link responses are in /s.  
  
('. ')(' .') (hehehe...dancing Kirbys)  
  
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Yugi was walking home one crisp autumn day. Things weren't going well for him, and he had already made a list, in order, of the worst things that happened to him that day.  
  
"Let's see, first place goes to getting beat up by Sozoji..again....(1), or would it be the loose salt shaker lid falling off and spilling salt over my fries, again? I don't know...and I don't care..."  
  
/Yugi...what's wrong?/, the deep voice of his other half asked gently. He didn't like to see his hikari so upset. /If someone is bothering you, I can fix it.../ he said with a small sneer.  
  
"Sozoji..." Yugi said in almost a daze, rubbing his sides and wincing as the pain struck him yet again.  
  
/Sozoji? He's bothering you again? I can take care of that...I'll just do what I did last time! I just won't have the jack land on the glass again. That game was fun../  
  
"Yeah, for you maybe. Sozoji didn't like having his eardrums burst out of his head. That's what he beat me up for today," Yugi told the spirit. He still wasn't used to the strange "games" this guy did. He seemed to be the spirit's scapegoat in a way, for whomever Yami had "avenged" and "punished" always had his(or her) choice words for him.  
  
Yugi sighed heavily. He started to wonder if he would ever have a normal day again. One without so many bruises.  
  
/Yugi....let me help you...please...Don't make me tell more of my jokes..!/  
  
"Oh,no," Yugi groaned with a soft laugh. If there was one thing he couldn't stand, it was Yami's corny jokes. These usually came from his friend Jenna, but when Yami heard them he would mix them up so much, they wouldn't make sense. "Fine. Which one is it this time...?"  
  
/Okay. You'll like this one. I'm sure./  
  
"Uh-huh..." Yugi said sarcastically.  
  
/Here goes. Two blondes walk into a bar...ouch.../  
  
Yugi had to let this one run through his brain a while. Did this make sense, or did he just miss it all together? He wasn't sure.....  
  
/Two blondes walk into a bar. Ouch!/, Yami repeated.  
  
"Oh!," Yugi said, a smile growing across his face. "That one was good. It actually made sense!," he said, laughing.  
  
He continued to walk home, feeling a little lighter, thanks to Yami, when he heard a voice call to him from nowhere.  
  
"Yami, don't do that," he said.  
  
/But I didn't do it...!/, his spirit protested.  
  
"Yugi...."  
  
"I said stop!"  
  
/Wasn't me!!!/  
  
"Yugi...."  
  
"WHAT PART OF 'STOP' DON"T YOU GET?!?", Yugi screamed.  
  
/BUT I"M NOT DOING IT!!!/, his spirit screamed back, at the same volume as his hikari.  
  
WHAM!  
  
Yugi fell to the ground, recoiling from a heavy blow to the face. He looked up and saw Sozoji standing over him, a pleased look on his face.  
  
"Since I didn't get to finish what I was doing earlier, why not do it now?,"he said with a sneer. Hurting Yugi like this pleased him, especially if no one was around as witnesses. After all, no evidence, no proof of what happened. Although the bruises may count as evidence, but they go away. Not like he's going to remember it, right? I'll give him a concussion, and he won't know what happened!  
  
He continued to punch him. Just then, he heard someone coming, and fled the scene as fast as he could.  
  
/Yugi....Yugi! Yugi, say something!/, Yami cried desperately. But he got no response from the motionless body. Fortunately for him, Joey rounded the corner.  
  
/Oh, thank Ra. Joey! Get help!/  
  
"Huh? Who said that?," Joey asked the air around him.  
  
/It's me! Look! Down here! Down Here!/, Yami motioned to try and get his attention.  
  
"Where?," Joey said while spinning around.  
  
Yami slapped his forehead, annoyed. / Holy Ra....Watch out, or you'll step on Yugi!/  
  
"Oh! Oh, no...I gotta get Yugi to a hospital, and fast! This looks bad!," he said as he scooped up the body of his friend.  
  
/About time..../,Yami said, disgruntled.  
  
"Where is that voice coming from?," Joey wondered again.  
  
/Grrr......./  
  
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"Ohhh...my head...Where am I?...," Yugi wondered aloud. He was hurting everywhere, and the last thing he could remember was Sojozi standing over him, beating him silly. Now the only person standing over him was Joey. He could also see the almost ghost-like form of his other half standing beside his friend.  
  
" Yuge...you alright? When I saw you flat on the ground like that, I got worried..." Joey told him.  
  
/Tch. Yeah right....../ Yami scoffed.  
  
" And where the heck is that voice coming from?!?"   
  
Yugi laughed softly. He couldn't help but smile at the way his friend reacted to his other friend's way of making himself known. He made a small yelp, and made sure not to laugh anymore until the stitches in his side were out.  
  
/Easy, Yugi. Don't hurt yourself any further. This is bad enough..../ Yami said softly, trying to soothe his hikari as best as he could.  
  
" Oh..that reminds me....Joey, could you watch the Millenium Puzzle for me while I'm here? I know you'll take great care of it, and Yami will..." but that's all he was able to say. A nurse came in and gave him a shot that made him fall asleep.  
  
/Oh, no.../ Yami groaned.  
  
"Hey, I heard that. Now you have to watch what you say around me," Joey warned after donning the Puzzle. "Now you're stuck with me until Yugi gets out of the hospital."  
  
/Fine. This sould be fun...heh-heh..../  
  
'Why don't I have a good feeling about this...' Joey thought as he left the building.  
  
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Awright, whatcha think of it?  
  
Yami: I like it! Time for torture! MUAHAHAHAHA!-gets hit with tranquilizer- Ow! Goodnight....-falls asleep-  
  
That's better..can't let him have too much fun...Anyway, when you R&R, you may leave a torture suggestion or mind trick for Yami-sama to do to poor Jou. But it can't be too harsh, you know, like flame torches and stuff. Witty ideas will be published! 


	2. A hard day's night

Hello, everyone! I made a big goof last chapter....  
  
Yami: Which doesn't surprise me in the least...._  
  
Watch it....Anyway, I put a footnote in the last chapter, but no actual foot note was typed! Sorry about that! Joey, get me more coffee, before I do that again....  
  
Joey: -gets me more coffee-  
  
So, here's the actual footnote: (1): Sozoji was a bully Yugi faced in the third chapter of the Yu-Gi-Oh graphic novel, who forced Yugi to sell tickets to his "Live karaoke concert." When Yugi couldn't sell the tickets, he was then forced to see the show himself. But when Sozoji brought out a beaten-up Hanasaki (one of Yugi's class members), "Dark" Yugi, (which is Yami for those of you who haven't already guessed by now..) decides to take over and challenge Sozoji to a "game". What happens? I'm not going to spoil that for you, am I?  
  
Disclaimer: If I owned Yu-Gi-Oh, I would be richer than Bill Gates. Maybe....  
  
And congratulations to the reader who sent me this idea! You're the first one!  
  
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"Man, today was long...." Joey mumbled as he went home. He had Yugi's Puzzle around his neck, and had it on for only 15 minutes when Yami started to annoy him.  
  
/Are we there yet?/ "No." /Now?/ "No..."/ How about now?/ "NO!"   
  
Finally there was some silence, and Joey let himself relax a little. But that didn't last long........  
  
/ We're still not there yet, huh?/  
  
" Grrr.........." / Hey! That's my growl! DO NOT USE IT WITHOUT MY PERMISSION!/  
  
Yugi, hurry up and get out of the hospital, Joey thought to himself as he let himself into his apartment(2). The first person he saw was Serenity. Oh, no...Listen, Yami...or whatever your name is, don't you dare do anything to my sister that I wouldn't do...  
  
/Mmm-kay.../  
  
Well, that was easy......" Hey sis.."  
  
'Hi, Big Bro!" Serenity's voice cooed. "Mom's doing pizza tonight."  
  
"Awright! See you at dinner, then."  
  
"/Bye, Britney Spears!/" Yami's voice said out loud. Serenity's eyes grew large.  
  
"Joey........"  
  
"No, Serenity! I didn't mean for that to happen!"  
  
"/Sure I did. That's just like me, ain't it..?/"  
  
"Um, excuse me for a minute..." Joey dashed off and hid in the closet for a second. He pulled off the Puzzle and glared at it.  
  
" WHAT...DO YOU THINK...YOU'RE DOING?!?," he hissed at it.  
  
/Having a little fun,/ Yami said innocently.  
  
"Well, don't do it like that again," Joey warned.  
  
"Sweetie, what are you doing in the closet?," his mother called.  
  
"/I'm doing the bling-bling with the broom, Mama W!/"  
  
"Gahh! No! That's not what I meant!"  
  
"/Man, that feels good!/"  
  
"Mister Wheeler, get your goofy butt out here," his mother warned him.  
  
Thanks again, old friend....  
  
/Not a problem!/  
  
As Joey walked past Mrs. Wheeler, a distinct "/Prrowl.../" was heard.  
  
"Joey, what's gotten into you," she demanded.  
  
"/Only the best day of my life!!/"  
  
"Ummm, okay,"  
  
"And just to be safe, I think I'll take the pizza to my room and eat it there...Just until this is over with, okay?"  
  
"Okay...just bring the dishes when you're done, alright?"  
  
"Fine."  
  
__---____--___-_-  
  
Later that night, Joey decided to go to bed a little earlier than usual to avoid any more incidents with Yami. But, unfortunately, his wish wasn't granted.  
  
/ Ninety nine bottles of beer on the wall, ninety nine bottles of beer.../  
  
"Yami, shut up and go to sleep...." Joey mumbled.  
  
/Fine..../ the spirit grumbled back. Now Joey thought he would get a decent rest, but the rest of the night the antics Yami pulled went as follows...  
  
9:30- /Skinnamarink-keedink-keedink, Skinnamarink-keedoo, I Love You!/(A:N-Oh, Ra, who doesn't remember that one? XD) "Yami, what does Yugi let you watch while he's away...?"  
  
/Not a lot. Sugoroku put a child lock on the T.V., and I don't know how to get around the Ra-darned thing./  
  
10:00- /Run away! It's Bob the Builder! AAAAHHH!/  
  
10:15- /We just figured out Blue's Clues, because we're really smart!/  
  
10:30- /It's time to play the music, it's time to light the lights, it's time to meet the Muppets on the Muppet Show tonight! It's time to put on make-up, it's time to dress up right, it's time to raise the curtain on the Muppet Show Tonight! [imitating Waldor and his, um, buddy. I forget the name...] Why do we always come here? I guess we'll never know! Well it's like some kind of torture, to have to watch the show! ANIMAL!!! And now let's get things started! [imitating the 'critics'] Why don't you get things started?[imitating Scooter] It's time to get things started on the most sensational, insperational, celebrational, Muppet-tational![imitating Kermit] This is what we call the Muppet Show!/ [gasping, panting]  
  
"My god...start watching MTV for a change!"  
  
11:00  
  
/[belching] A...B....C...D...E....F...G...H...I...J....K....L...M...N....O....P....Q....R...S...T...U....V...W...X...Y...Z.../  
  
"O_OU And you do this when he's around?"  
  
/[belching] No...../  
  
12:00  
  
/ Should old aquaintance be forgot.../  
  
"Yami...it's not New Years...."  
  
/It's not? Gee, and I went through all the trouble of bringing a bottle of Austie over for the occasion/  
  
" Well, good for you...O_OWait, YOU BROUGHT A REAL BOTTLE OF AUSTIE?!?"  
  
/Yupazoo!/  
  
O_O  
  
The torture went on and on. Fortunately, it wasn't long until dawn came, leaving Joey to deal with Yami for another day once again.  
  
/ Hey, wake up! The sun's up! Let's go! Sun's up!/  
  
"Sigh........"  
  
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And that's it! Hope you liked it! I know Yami did....  
  
Yami: ^______________^  
  
So please R&R! Man, I can't believe I remembered the Muppet Show...it's been almost 12 years since I saw it... 


End file.
